This is a post that I’ve started to write and then given up on writing numerous times now. You’d think because I wrote and took the pictures for a blog post titled “The best swimwear for mid-section scarring” that I would actually be comfortable in my own body. It’s been through so many changes in the past 15 years or so and I have no idea when the changing will stop.
This is a sponsored post but all the views and opinions are my own. This is my story and if you’re struggling with mental health then check out the NHS and Mental Health Foundation for how they can help with body image issues.
I’ve had 4 surgeries with three of them in the same place. The latest was the biggest one and the one which changed my life and my body forever. I’m still trying to write up a full post about my hysterectomy but for now, little bits and pieces will have to do. I spent 12 weeks getting to grips with the changes that my body was going through as well as finding out my IBS had got worse and being given medication for that too.
I wrote a full blog post a couple of years ago about the medication that I was on at the time and what it was for. This has now changed but the idea behind the post hasn’t. I’ll always share what I can with the hope that it might help someone else.
At this point I was put on medication which I didn’t realise would result in me putting on over two stone in weight in under a year and it staying on for over 3 years. This also resulted in one GP looking me up and down and telling me I needed to lose weight. I’ll admit, that stung considering he was the one that wrote the original prescription that made me gain weight in the first place.
Fast forward to a year later and being told to come off that medication to try something else as pain relief. I still don’t know what’s wrong with me but I do know, that with my job any of the medications designed to treat nerve pain don’t work for me. The problem with being taken off this medication is my IBS is still pretty unpredictable but I’ve also lost all the weight that I’d put on.
I thought I was OK with the size I was but looking back I realise that I should have done something sooner. I’m much happier with the size that I am now. Having lost so much weight before that my dad was scared I was going to fade away to nothing finding a weight that I feel comfortable with feels like a major achievement.
This sense of feeling like myself and comfortable within my own skin and that’s the message that a dating website is trying to promote. They want us to love our selves unconditionally and feel good about the body we’re in. I’m not saying I’ve cracked this yet but I’m definitely doing better than I was. This article by PsychCentral is a great start for small ways you can feel better about yourself.
The photo that I’ve used at the top of this blog post is the first picture of myself that I’ve looked at in over 2 years and decided that I actually like how I look. This is one of the reasons that I don’t post many selfies. I remember taking a photo after the Makeup Revolution birthday party and realised just how much weight I’d gained. I still posted it because I loved my make-up but my god I hated that photo. I took a picture on my best friends birthday and still wasn’t happy with how I looked but I loved the dress I was wearing (do you see a pattern here?).
In the photo above I’m in my favourite town in France, wearing a dress that I feel amazing in and I love the shot. My husband wasn’t happy with taking it but I’m so glad I roped him into it. I love the dress so much that I’m trying to figure out when I can wear it next (the weather needs to be right and we just don’t get that in Scotland).
Basically, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m finally happy with my body and the clothes that I wear. I don’t look at the number on the label – so long as it fits I don’t care. No one else knows what size I’m wearing. Here’s hoping that I can keep this up and find some more amazing outfits going forward.
